Time has come....

Last night I felt this urge to get into my car and drive. As soon as I turned on the egnition I zoned out. I went into my heart to reach my mom. This time of year always hurts, but I really needed her guidance, her advice, her help to figure out what I want right now.

So I drove and drove, talking to her, asking her what my direction was cause I didnt know anymore.

She told me that I was ready, ready to move forward in my life. I have experienced what I need to experience, and even though I am scared and not sure what life has to offer I need to have faith in myself to take that chance. It was time to start doing something for myself to make myself happy.

I cried and drove, bad combination lol, but I could feel my heart fill up more and more. Her prescence was so strong.

She told me I am ready to find someone that loves me for who I am, accepts me just as is, faults and all. Someone that knows when I am hurting without asking and will be there to hold me, told hold my hand, and let me cry.

I have said before that I am ready, but dont think I truly ever was until now. Yes I am terrified, I dont want to be hurt again, but I know I need to experience someone caring for me once again.

I deserve to be happy beyond words. I have the most amazing son and am the luckiest mom alive, but as my mom told me, I deserve to be happy in my heart and soul as well.

Mom, I am listening to you, you are right, the time has come to fully move on.....

I miss you mom, thank you for being there for me no matter what.