Whats the point?

I dont believe in resolutions, but I made a personal one anyways: To be happier, to find happiness and to be the best friend that I can be.

Had the most amazing Sunday with a friend who came over for dinner with us. We laughed so hard, relaxed, Cas was having fun, we all were. Now suddenly he doesnt respond to my email.

I personally find it a slap in the face. I completely understand if something happened, but a quick message saying so would be ok, I know hes been online.

Why do I even bother anymore. I opened myself up to him, confided in him, told him my hopes and dreams, and I feel like I just have been burned. He very well could read this but I have no where else to turn but to write.

This is the very reason I dont let anyone in. Keep my walls up and keep myself closed off from others cause I end up getting hurt in the end. I decided to take a chance and be honest about everything, open up, I wonder if that was a good idea anymore. Maybe I will just close up once again.

I know we are supposed to live with no regrets, but a part of me does regret this cause its my heart that I am working so hard to protect and I dont like it getting hurt.

I cant call him, well I could, but out of respect for the circumstances I dont call his place, I dont want to cause trouble, so I sit here waiting for a stupid piece message from him explaining WTH is going on. In the meantime I worry about him, about our friendship, about everything cause I have far too much time on my hands.

Whats the point of being a caring loving person with a big heart. Seems a hell of a lot more trouble then its worth in the end.