Everyone asks, why I am the way I am, why I do the things I do. I have spent a better part of 3 years trying to figure that out. I am not the cool calm collected put together person people think I am, I am more broken then I show, cause like everything else I try my best to keep it inside.
I had to find my spot, the spot where I felt most comfortable in. Whether it be mentally, emotionally or even physically. I searched high and low for a center of peace that I knew I could be comfortable with. I have thought I found that a while ago, but I feel that I got deeper and deeper into the darkness in my soul.
I fight to get out, because I want more light in my life, I know cheesy at it may be. I miss my writing, it helps me release my inner thoughts and emotions, sometimes it might seem like babble, but despite the amazing friendships I have made, this is truly the only spot I can be open about how I feel about myself, and my life.
I work so damn hard to try and be strong for everyone else. Hell I have to be, if I am not strong then what will happen? But now, I am finally at the point in my life that I need that strength for myself. I so very much want to live that happily ever after fairytale, however, I am smart enough to know that is a bit far fetched.
I no longer am longing for the attention of the opposite sex in a way that makes me feel good physically. I am longing for the attention that makes me feel good mentally and emotionally.
Yes, in some respects, I am somewhat of a stubborn fool, but I have been through so much and seen so much happen that I wont settle for anything less then the best. HELL I deserve that too! I finally am at that point in my life that I want love and happiness.
People say I am emotional, all over the place, and a bit too much to handle, so what, I am me, I dont change for anyone and if you dont like it then keep on walking.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment